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Can’t eat pork,
Swine flu…
Can’t eat chicken,
Bird flu.
Can’t eat Beef,
Mad cow….
Can’t eat eggs,
Salmonella.
Can’t eat fish,
heavy metal poisons in their waters.
Can’t eat fruits and veggies,
insecticides and herbicides.
Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M
M
I believe that leaves Chocolate
and ice cream!!!!!!!!
I CAN LIVE WITH THAT!
Remember - - - ‘STRESSED’
spelled backwards! is DESSERTS’
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Aries (3/21-4/19)
21 Nov 05:00
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For Saturday, November 21 - It's easy to see how staying at home might not be your favorite activity -- at least, not on a regular basis, certainly not alone, and definitely not now, when the stars are sending you all kinds of revolutionary energy. If you just can't force yourself to stay in, even if you're tired, don't. Remember -- you can always catch up on your beauty sleep later this weekend.
Taurus (4/20-5/20)
21 Nov 05:00
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For Saturday, November 21 - You've acquired a reputation for being considerate, cooperative and extremely easy to get along with, but you might have to chuck that identity out the window, at least temporarily. It's not a dire situation, by any means, but you're about to have a serious urge to join -- or better yet -- start a cause on someone's behalf. You may have found your new calling: you'll be pretty darned good at it without even trying.
Gemini (5/21-6/21)
21 Nov 05:00
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For Saturday, November 21 - Friends are great, but when it comes right down to it, there's nothing like the company of family. The camaraderie, the shared genetics, the history, the understanding -- you love all of it. There's also a distinct possibility that one of them will introduce you to someone who'll end up being far more than just a friend. After all, your peeps are well connected and they have your best interest at heart.
Cancer (6/22-7/22)
21 Nov 05:00
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For Saturday, November 21 - You're due for an experience -- the kind that takes you somewhere you've never been before or even knew existed. If you have a spontaneous travel companion who's urging you on, the desire to embrace your wanderlust may be especially irresistible. Put your nose to the grindstone and spend the evening immersed in cyberspace -- you're bound to find everything you need to get started.
Leo (7/23-8/22)
21 Nov 05:00
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For Saturday, November 21 - A certain someone -- after yet another day of boring through your soul with their penetrating glances -- will finally approach you and say what's on their mind: you! If you're unattached and interested, this could be the one. You know, The One! For good measure, how about returning a few intense stares yourself? Just don't be surprised when once the staring begins, few words are exchanged.
Speeding
Speeding
I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING YESTERDAY.I THOUGHT I COULD TALK
MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE OFFICER LOOKED AT
MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT
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Job Retraining
Job Retraining
A passenger in a taxi leaned forward to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. .
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and for a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."
The frightened passenger, apologized to the driver, and said he hadn't realized a mere tap on the shoulder would frighten him so much.
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab . I've been driving a hearse for the last 23 years
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I need a Giggle how about you?
I need a Giggle how about you?
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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