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Can’t eat pork,
Swine flu…
Can’t eat chicken,
Bird flu.
Can’t eat Beef,
Mad cow….
Can’t eat eggs,
Salmonella.
Can’t eat fish,
heavy metal poisons in their waters.
Can’t eat fruits and veggies,
insecticides and herbicides.
Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M
M
I believe that leaves Chocolate
and ice cream!!!!!!!!
I CAN LIVE WITH THAT!
Remember - - - ‘STRESSED’
spelled backwards! is DESSERTS’
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Aries (3/21-4/19)
07 Nov 05:00
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For Saturday, November 7 - If you keep a hopeful attitude and stay focused on the positive, you should start to sense a new beginning coming soon. Deep inside of you, exciting new ideas are finally starting to gel. If you have been looking for new romance, this could be the start of a special relationship that takes you in a different direction. You are definitely ready for the emotional challenge of it.
Taurus (4/20-5/20)
07 Nov 05:00
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For Saturday, November 7 - It's time to walk on eggshells. Someone you know and love may be feeling especially sensitive today, and you'll probably hurt their feelings without meaning to. While this sounds like an impossible situation, it's really not in the grand scheme of things. This person is insecure in so many aspects of their life, and to them, you seem to have it all together -- you're even a bit intimidating. Give them time, space and support. Be patient with them.
Gemini (5/21-6/21)
07 Nov 05:00
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For Saturday, November 7 - You'll be in the right place at the right time and at the top of your game today! This will naturally put you in a great mood, which will undoubtedly rub off on others and lift their spirits too. You'll come up with the perfect answer at the perfect time, and you'll toss out the wittiest comebacks ever. In short, everything you need will be on the tip of your tongue or at your fingertips. Spread that good fortune around -- it's contagious.
Cancer (6/22-7/22)
07 Nov 05:00
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For Saturday, November 7 - Just because you've been close to someone for years doesn't mean you know them inside and out. This realization is actually somewhat exciting. You might never fully understand who they are -- after all, still waters run deep. But you'll catch a glimpse of that depth today when this person impresses you and serves as an inspiration. Why not cultivate your own skills in a new endeavor? It's the perfect day to pick up a new hobby that will surprise people.
Leo (7/23-8/22)
07 Nov 05:00
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For Saturday, November 7 - It's going to be a very social day whether you like it or not. Your sunny personality will melt any nasty moods in your midst, so start smiling and chatting up absolutely everyone. From small talk with a stranger at the store to a surprisingly deep conversation with a distant relative, it's all working in your favor. This day offers enriching exchanges that will make you pause and see people in a new light.
Speeding
Speeding
I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING YESTERDAY.I THOUGHT I COULD TALK
MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE OFFICER LOOKED AT
MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT
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Job Retraining
Job Retraining
A passenger in a taxi leaned forward to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. .
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and for a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."
The frightened passenger, apologized to the driver, and said he hadn't realized a mere tap on the shoulder would frighten him so much.
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab . I've been driving a hearse for the last 23 years
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I need a Giggle how about you?
I need a Giggle how about you?
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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